100 questions …

Why are there so many questions in our head? Why is it so necessary to find answers? And why do most of our questions start with “why”? Does it really have a relevance ‘why’? If we accept that questions are the fundamentals of development, does it apply to human relationships, too?

Why do certain people meet, who have not even been aware of the existence of the other? Why do not others meet, who are making so much effort to do so? Is it really out of our competence? Do we have to consider it a message? Does everything have to have a reason? Is there such a thing as destiny? Shall we believe in such things as those who have something together will finally get together, regardless of the past, constraints, debates, refusals, etc.?

Shall we be mindful? Why is it becoming so popular? What do we really miss in our lives that we are afraid to admit? Can we be mindful when it comes to emotions? Can we be mindful in who we are attracted to? Why are we more open for spiritualism in our pain than in our joy? Why do we still fail despite of mindfulness? Does it really have a value to be mindful?

Do others really feel when we think of them? Shall we do anything with their thoughts? Does it even make sense to think about it? Why do we speak more and more about human relationships and are more and more reluctant to have one, at the same time? Is it dishonesty or immaturity? Who is the right person to tell us? Who is the one we would certainly accept an answer from? Do we really need an answer?

Why do we enter into relationships when we are reluctant to work on them? Why are we only expecting love rather than providing it? Why are certain people reluctant to invest into a relationship, then feel bad about receiving more than they provide? When did we forget how to accept and appreciate something? When did we stop valuing unconditional love? Why did stability, reliability, etc. lose their importance? Why do we tend to let someone go due to our fear to lose them? Why do we tend to take the risk of losing our soulmate rather than taking the risk of finding them? Why do we choose to make ourselves happy instead of taking the risk of finding someone to share our life with? Why is it such an avoidable thing to crave another human’s presence in our lives? When did it happen that we generally lost our faith in monogamous relationships? Why is the newer always better? Why do not we invest into something that we consider valuable? Is it really preferable to start over all the time instead of having some familiar faces in our lives? Why is the unachievable more desirable although we all would love to be loved? How do certain people dare to enter into our lives without the slightest intention to stay? When did we start only using others so evidently?

Why is it so difficult to accept that for achieving certain things we have to take a whole journey? Why do we hesitate that much to depart? Why are we so impatient sometimes to learn or grow? Why do not we enjoy the journey? Why do we want to jump to the end for the benefits, right away?

Why is risk-taking something to avoid when it comes to human relationships? Why do we tend to be more successful with handling our human relationships at work rather than in our private life? What is the feature which is there in the work relationships which are not there in the private ones? Why is work the backbone of life for so many people? When did it take over the role of families and friends? Why do certain people commit to jobs easier than to other people? Why do they stay at one workplace easily for decades and are unable to settle in their private life? Is it really the case that there is such a thing as a perfect job and there is no such thing as a perfect relationship? If a job can be good enough and we can be happy with it, why do we seek for the perfect relationship that most probably does not exist, either? When did the ‘good enough’ disappear from our expectations? Why do not we realize that perfectionism holds us back from many things?

Where are the genuine personalities gone? Why are they replaced by fake ones with fake ideas and fake images? Why do we wear masks? Why do we believe that no one will recognise it? What is the rationale of faking the image of ourselves? What is our purpose with it? Why do we disclose our wish to become different when this is what we are the most afraid of? Why are we so much attracted to commonplaces? Why do we embrace the illusion that we can be fine ourselves without others? Why is not it possible to appreciate independence, provide human respect and be treat like a woman/man in parallel? Why do we see commercials only for women to change in order to attract men? When did we become a product that you can choose according to the characteristics you want? Why are we unable to simply cooperate and share things? How could we forget that sharing something is at least as good as receiving something, if not better?

Why do we tend to keep thinking of someone who does not deserve it at all? Why do we tend to perceive someone’s reluctance as our own failure? Why do we enter into or maintain toxic relationships? Why is it that we know exactly that we have to leave and move on and are still unable to make the step? Why is it so unbelievable though when it happens? Why do we tend to keep thinking of talking to the other anytime something comes up that would be interesting for them? Why do we still recall their advice and words about things? Why does it still matter what they would think? Why do we still wait for them to text or call? Why do not we call them? How could it happen that people who used to be in constant contact simply stop communicating completely? Why can we re-establish connections at our workplace and almost unable to do so in our private life? Why do we give up on other people much easier than e.g. our job? Why do certain people insist to places, objects, etc. and try to find matching people instead of doing it the other way around? Why do they tend to find people easier to replace than those places, objects, etc.?

Why is it unbelievable that we love someone and do not want to have a relationship with? Why do we still believe that love is above everything, although experience of ours shows quite the opposite? What if love is an essential part but not necessarily sufficient for a good relationship? Why does it still hurt like hell?

Are we honest when we ask such questions? Can anyone be perfectly honest with themselves? What if honesty leads to the admission that we are full of dissonance? What if we simply realize that the best thing is to follow our heart regardless of the consequences? What is we simply break those routine and take the risk no matter how high it is?

We may have the impression that it is hard to find the answers to all these questions. Yes, it most probably is. That is why we keep asking them. However, as you may know, sometimes it is as hard to find the right question, if not harder, as to find the right answer.

Is not it the reason that we suffer from the extensive freedom, when we can set our own rules, our values, own principles and it seems much easier to accept some given ones and comply? Sometimes the hardest thing is to receive all that we ever wanted … as we might not be able to cope with them …