… and you are about to make friends with it …

Pain leaves you for days, nowadays. You can smile, your creativity is back, you can concentrate on your work, you can meet people and also can go shopping without bursting into cry and sneaking back to your car without looking at anyone. 

Running has become a part of your life, which keeps you on the ground. Gives a routine and structures your days, although in a different way than it has been recently. The distance from your home gives a perspective on things, and you enjoy thinking about matters that you have never had time for. The views around you remind you of what you love in your home town. You realize that you can now think about and talk about love, at least in general. 

You can be forgiving, and can feel gratitude. You get yourself on thinking to be thankful. Thankful for these changes and the new perspective. You feel that you are getting clarity about what you really want – although through the experience of what you do not.

And you get contacted, out of the blue. You immediately lose ground again, and the pain is back. Why? Why now? Why exactly with that? Why to talk? You realize that you are not able to talk… But you are disciplined and you answer. The contact is established. And continues. Getting much. Intentions are not clear on either side. The conversation does not lead to the point. There has been no closure and all the wounds are open. Memories are flooding….

Stop. Past had better to remain in the past. That chapter must be closed. It is essential in order to open a new one. A completely new chapter. Even if you have no idea about  what would be written there…. Life is calling, and you have to go. Regardless of who is going to join you…